Little Big Man

Riley is 5!

I know he's been 5 since January but we are now going through process of picking schools and it hit me Riley is 5!

That being said a few weeks ago I started thinking about how much he had grown. He was our third little one and there was an 8 year difference between him and his big brother and a 10 years difference with big sis.  We were in a new house and poor Greg had to give up his office. It was by far the smallest room in the house. Ok I think the guest bath and half bath might be smaller but not much. Little Riley got a 10X10 room all by himself, squished between two preteen rooms. We went all out. We wanted a cute little nursery and had a gifted local artist do a animal mural. Jungle theme crib bedding and the cutest little monkeys hanging out in the room.  It was adorable.

In the past five years I couldn't stand the thought of re- vamping the room. Our little princess surprise Bella pushed Riley out of the crib and Sydney out of the "big room". (No worries Sydney got an entire basement finished out for her personal use).  Bella inherited Riley's crib and furniture and Riley inherited Sydney's camp style bed, dresser, and armoire.  My mother, who is an awesome seamstress/ quilter/ all around crafty person added edging and made his baby quilt into a twin sized one. We made it work so we could keep the mural.  By this time we knew a bit of what we were dealing with as far a Riley's sensory stuff was concerned. He's been a bit of a crash boom bang kid and no way was I buying new furniture to get destroyed.

I'm very surprised to say that the furniture actually held up.... except for the poor nightstand which seriously never had a chance. Sydney and her friends had already carved their names in it! (yes they got in trouble...no I don't "let"my kids purposely mark-up, write-on, use stickers etc on their furniture it just happens sometimes).  Riley is doing so much better taking care of his things and I thought it was time for him to graduate to a big boy room!

I asked him what type of room he wanted and got about fifteen different answers. Hubby said "let him pick whatever he wants" but I did stack the deck.  I started by looking on pinterest and showed him tons of star wars bedrooms.  So he decided on star wars. Sneaky mom I know, but we have been down this road before (Ryan had a star wars room) and I still have lots of star wars stuff so why not! The trick is I'm trying to do this on a shoe string. Anyone who knows me well knows I'm like a bloodhound. Someone can put three similar items beside each other and I will always pick the most expensive as the one I like.   It's a gift HAHA! So for a week I've been pinning, measuring his room, going on line to price compare and just really trying to do a nice room on as little as I can manage. Ikea is going to be a very good friend in this endeavor.

First order is to paint. His poor beautiful mural and walls look like they were felled in WWIII! Today we removed everything off of walls and patched everything. We are going for a very "Industrial" style. We chose pale gray paint. It is a very neutral gray and honestly we bought waaaay to much of it for the living room so we are using it up. (My bedroom also got a few of coats of this awesome stuff). We have always used cheap paint and in the past had to use multiple coats and put it on thick.  We went with a pricey porter paint that supposedly will hid things better and cleans up nice. It rolls on like a dream and we've been really happy with it.  This is a good thing considering we spent some bucks and had a TON left over!

The biggest problem I have his closet doors. They are white, six paneled, by-pass doors and due to size of room can't do any other type of door. After a lot of research I thought the best thing to do was to paint them.  Decided to do a metallic treatment, the spray paint was $8.00 a can and we bought four cans but I think three would have worked.  I thought that was pricey for spray paint but for the convenience factor I thought it was worth it. Also when comparing price of new doors...well lets just if this works out new doors for $42.00 isn't bad. Plus we didn't need to buy paint for the room so yay!

The doors and the damage 

during :) 

Antique Pewter Awesomeness

Blessed and Distressed

Where to start? I'd say the last two weeks have been crazy but honestly crazy is our new normal so I'm just going to say the last two weeks have been extremely routine!  I am TWO MONTHS away from my 14 day mission trip in the Ukraine. WOW! Time is passing by and yesterday I started getting into fine details...you know the logistics of packing and luggage and TSA requirements all the minute details that can mean the difference between easy travel and problems at every turn. I'm a bit of a clothes horse and ALWAYS worry that I'm not packing enough clothes. Hermione's beaded bag from the Deathly Hallows would be soooo greatly appreciated at this time!

I have felt a tugging at my heart for years to do some type of mission trip.  I've supported quite a few, prayed for friends as they have went, and always been so excited to hear how it went after they got back. My grandma Gene use to say "I'll be surprised if you don't make a missionary, I've never seen a kid with the bug to travel like you do" My dad called me the go go girl, he'd say "if I say 'I'm going...' Laraine would meet at the door with her coat before I could even say where". I choose a trip to Europe over a car when I was a teen (spoiled enough to actually get the car also).  My husband had never flown until our honeymoon...when he suggested we go somewhere we could drive I informed him unless he wanted to be home alone a lot he needed to get on board with flying.....literally. This trip is so different. I'm not going for a vacation or to see the world I'm going with my heart set on making a difference in the lives of the teens we are serving. I'm going to share the love I have for Jesus with the world and I'm expecting amazing things to happen!

This has been a big leap of faith for me. Financially, the last thing I needed to do at this point in my life is "sign up" for an expensive trip that I had no idea where the finances were coming from.  I have been amazed at the blessings I have received in the area. Our youth minister told us "send out support letters, let everyone you know hear about your financial needs, pray everyday....God will take care of this!" I do believe God can move mountains and I hear stories from others about how he provides, but for some reason I have a hard time believing his blessings are meant for me.  I'll be honest three years ago I would have just written a check, not sent out anything, and then patted myself on the back for not needing help.  The only way I could go on this trip is if it was completely taken care of. I sent out letters and have been amazed at the outpouring of love for this venture.  I needed two-thirds of the trip paid for  by May 1st.  Two Sundays ago we had a missions meeting, I needed a chunk of money to meet the deadline. I was freaking out a bit and my husband told me "I've got the kids covered, you go pray about it"  I prayed for a bit right then and then prayed on and off the rest of that day. Less than twelve hours later I get a text from someone saying that they are donating X amount of money. It was the exact amount  of money I had been praying about needing. I think after all the donations were tallied I had a few dollars over the amount due. I had goosebumps.  I still  have a way to go... I need about $1000.00 more but I'm not worried I know that it's going to get covered. I'm hoping to get enough to pay for me and then to roll over to others on the trip.( I'll add a shameless plug here if you would like to donate ANY amount....even a few dollars please contact me and I'll send you the designation form, it's tax deductible so you will get a receipt. :) )

This is also emotionally hard because since I met my husband I don't think I've ever been away from him for more than a week... yes we are attached at the hip and have been for 20 years.  He's my best friend and no matter how irritated he can make me at times, he is the first person I talk to when I need to share anything. I was comforted with the Skype/cell phone placebo, but have found out there is no service at the camp where we will be teaching.  I got a little teary eyed over the thought of not hearing from or seeing my husband and kids for a large portion of the trip.  However, I'm a Newman and we are made of pretty tough stuff. Many call it stubborness I call it fortitude! A bit of the Gray temperament doesn't hurt either. I'll be busy, they will be busy and I just have to keep a journal of all the cool things that are happening and take a lot of pics. Being a stay at home mom of four with so many responsibilities , well I think I make myself believe that I'm the only person who can take care of them.  I know that's disrespectful to my husband, and the scores of people who are offering to help with my kids while I'm gone, but I can't help but worry just a bit. I tell my husband "Just because I don't do things YOUR way doesn't mean it's the WRONG way" I need to take my own advice and let him parent the way he needs to without me here.  I swear I am NOT leaving a list....it's killing me but I refuse!!!! haha. I've been blessed with a wonderful husband who has a real heart for Jesus and his kids they will be fine.


My Ukraine language and culture book from Amazon came in the mail yesterday and now the biggest worry I have is trying to pack my bag and trying to learn the Ukraine alphabet.... Whew! Who knew fundraising would be easier than that!

The other thing that has been taking my time the last two weeks is distressing... Literally distressing. I'm a pretty boring decorator... I use lots of neutrals and go to stores and pick out all the matching furniture. I was sick of the same ole same ole and two years ago hired an interior decorator to help me punch it up a bit. She is great and has helped with color schemes and some staging but honestly I just can't afford her to redo entire house.  I've been bummed about it but then a dear friend ...Alana.....said "Girl we can do this..... I'm going to teach you to go to Peddlers mall and get you looking up stuff on pinterest and we'll do this our own way". Apparently I'm one of her more "high maintenance" friends and she's very excited to teach me DIY and shopping for deals. I found (OK actually Greg found it)  an old wooden dresser that was pretty beat up even missing a door for $59.00. It's solid wood and had all original door pulls. It came home with us it was really really ugly.... like I wouldn't have even owned this in the 80's...really ugly. I used Annie Slone's chalk paint and OMG this stuff is AWESOME. Very little smell and you have NO prep... No stripping finish off, no sanding... NOTHING.  Just paint it on the messier the better. Riley even helped he thought he was hot stuff!  Since I have a gray room I used gray paint and then bought Annie Slone's dark wax to "distress" it.  Not to be disrespectful to my hubby but he gave me the hairy eyeball that it couldn't be that easy.

This stuff dried in like an hour and then I rubbed the dark wax over the entire thing then wiped it away.  The dark wax stayed in the crevices and gave it a distressed old antique look. My husband even said "I would not have believed it if I had not seen it" I have pictures but I can honestly say it does not look as good in the pics as it does in the room! We had a college friend help us move the dresser to our room and he thought we had bought it like that. The only trouble is the Annie Slone's paint is expensive but it goes a long way and the people who sold it too me said I'd never buy dark wax again. I used such a small amount I'd believe them. I also found a huge antique mirror (gold) that I distressed using a teal wash where the gold shows through and then using dark wax to give it a bit more dimension. Again, boring ole me was going to do black on mirror but thought "lets try it I can always paint it black if it doesn't work out" The teal/gold/black kinda gives it a patina look which is neat. It's sitting in my room waiting to see how it works. I think I'm going to hang it and wait until I get my teal headboard to see if it works in the space. However, I am NOT handy at hanging stuff so must wait on hubby to do that. It's fun having these projects to do I'm pretty happy about it. Peddler mall shopping is kinda like treasure hunting but I have to go with a specific purpose or I'll try to get too many projects going. I'll try to get pics up later and I'll keep you informed on how the ongoing projects go.

Mommy Guilt

Mommy Guilt?  Anyone else have it? Believe me I have enough to go around. I remember when it started... Ok maybe not exactly when it started full force but I can track it back to about 7 1/2 months before Sydney was born.  You know that moment when you realize "Oh wow I'm pregnant" and then start thinking... "OMG I had a small glass of wine 2 weeks ago, I ate tuna fish for lunch yesterday, I sat in a hot tub for more than 10 min last night..." and geez thats just the start of it.

Our society has sold us a bill of goods that is just down right deceitful and untrue.  I remember as a child watching TV with the lady in a suit singing " I can bring home the bacon ... fry up in a pan?" remember that one? Women were AWESOME and we could do EVERYTHING... We could have a career, keep a perfect house, have gorgeous over achieving children, and look FANTASTIC while doing it. I totally bought into it ... hook line and sinker. Even convinced others I could do it too. People at work thought I was the BEST MOM in the world.  I took off work for conferences, arranged my schedule to volunteer at the kid's daycare, baked things for daycare/school. I had manicures/pedicures weekly and stopped by the gym 3-4 days a week during lunch or on my way home from work. Sounds great right?  I was miserable... I hated my job, hated not seeing my kids until 6:30-7:00 every night, and I hated that the only time I spent with my husband was on vacation. I remember praying every day and night for years for me to find some way to stay home with my kids. Finally my husband and I took a leap of faith and I gave up my career. At that point I just knew I was going to be extra super mom. I mean if I was THAT AWESOME working 40-50 hours a week world just watch out when I'm home!

Almost 4 years later I still very happy that I chose to be a SAHM (stay at home mom) but I feel anything but super!  It's 9:15 I'm still in my jammies, Bella has on a shirt she wore yesterday (It's her favorite), Riley is running around in underwear with a smily face in Sharpie on his tummy (thank you honey for giving that to him as you were walking out the door :) ) My dining room looks like a princess truck dumped pink stuff everywhere (Bella's B-day party is sat) and my hair and nails haven't been touch by a professional in months!  It's rainy so the dog has made tracks all over my hardwood floors and I really need to do a load of dishes and laundry! Park and Zoo are out so I get to watch my house slowly but surely be demolished bit by bit today while we play house, bayblades, yuigioh, puzzles, coloring and try to do some therapy... That's all before lunch :) Riley is being too loud and Bella is being too quiet ( I don't even want to know what she's up to right now) .  I work long and hard every day (OK most days there are times I veg out and do very little those are few and far between). I have finally loosened up a bit and I only do one carpool a day instead of three ( hate my kids riding the bus but 3 or 4 carpools was just too crazy). I manage to do in home therapy with Riley continually and my kids are safe, healthy, fed, and mostly clean everyday ( see above about yesterdays T and sharpie!) Why then do I feel so defeated so often?

Mommy Guilt!

We guilt ourselves and then in turn do it to other moms.  Don't believe me?  Go to anyplace where moms gather... you will hear diatribes on everything from the pro/cons of co-sleeping, attachment parenting, school placements, using meds, proper seat belt use, nutrition, extra circular activities, TV usage, Video game usage, home schooling, private schooling, discipline, religious training, potty training.... the list is endless. I can handle all of that because after 4 children you realize all children are different and each family situation is different.  Things I said "I'll never do" with Sydney( # 1) I have done with Bella (# 4). I'm not saying conversation about all this stuff is necessarily bad. I've had great conversations with other moms and have taken their advice which sometimes works and sometimes doesn't. I think it is important for moms to connect and impart wisdom but I also think that we all need to remember that we usually don't voice our fears.  In other words I'll tell you "oh we don't let our children sleep with us" what I won't tell you is "maybe I missed some bonding time?" what I really don't even want to think is "uggghhhh I need my sleep and a foot in my face every night makes me not a good mother tomorrow". Because we have to make it about the kids and not about us. It's OK to say "I want my children to learn to self sooth and not be dependent" but it's not OK to say " If I don't sleep well, I'm evil to EVERYONE". I read somewhere once that parents who vehemently have all the answers are usually the most insecure.  In my own life I've found that to be true. I find it funny that I thought I was super mom with my first two even though most days I spent 2-3 hours with them versus the 12-13 hour days I put in now. ( Ok actually 24 for the littles but I don't count when they sleep cause I'm usually doing the same and yes I don't allow children in the bed often because I selfishly need lots of sleep). When I worked I felt guilty that someone else was raising my kids for me and now I feel guilty because my kids aren't socialized. You just can't win! And my poor husband I know he is soooo sick of coming home to find me in his sweats and t-shirts. I'm trying to work on dressing up a bit more and going out on actual dates where I fix my hair and make-up. Hard to be motivated when you are at home all day!

What's my point? Not really sure, just something that seemed I needed to work on in my own heart and mind today. I'm not super mom but I'm not a bad mom. I'm somewhere in the middle and the pendulum shifts day to day. I've been reading the book of James recently and James 3:17 says "But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace- loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere". I'm going to try to have heavenly wisdom and be full of mercy for myself and others today and every day. Hope some of you get some peace or joy out of this. Have a great day.... I have to go fix a door handle that mysteriously came off while I was typing.  The fun never ends!!!!

Augusttism

 It's been a LONG time since I've blogged. I have used Facebook mostly to journal my daily routine and to write down all of my families quirky/funny events... and believe me there are more than a few.  My husband often tells me I need to update Surviving Riley just for my own sanity.  My life is zipping by and I love looking back on journals and reading about events that I might have otherwise forgotten. So I'm trying to commit to spend a little time each week to type about life in the Epley household. All 3 of my followers are waiting on the edge of their seats I'm sure :)

First things first... I AM A NERD! I will make geeky references  dealing with anything from Stars Wars to Jane Austen novels and sometimes it might not make sense to anyone who isn't a full on nerd like we are in the Epley house! Secondly .... I don't write much anymore. My grammar isn't the worst but isn't the best. I try to proof read and make corrections but most of the time my fingers do not keep up with my brain. My computer acts up a lot right now and honestly sometimes making a correction is more hassle than it's worth. Forgive my screw ups. Yes I know this is hypocritical considering I HATE when people use you're and your wrong or to, too, & two but such is life. Finally.. I am not supermom, I'm a good mom but in no way the best. I'm not interested in the mommy wars or telling anyone how to parent.  I'm just sharing a glimpse of our crazy un-dull life :)

I thought it would be fitting to start this again on April 2nd which happens to be Autism Awareness Day. My crazy life intervened and we ended up Spring Cleaning and moving my bedroom furniture around 3-4 times. ( I'm a visual person so I can't really think it I have to see it). However, in honor of Autism Awareness we did put a blue bulb in our porch light and found Riley an awesome T-Shirt.  The shirt has a super hero on it and it says "Autism is my Super Power". I cannot tell you how much he LOVED this shirt. He thought he was Super Hot Stuff wearing it.

I have to say I had mixed feelings about him getting this shirt. On one hand I'm not trying to hide his problems, but it does feel a bit like putting a huge billboard on my child. I let him wear it to therapy and forgot he had it on when we went to the mall.  We only had one minor meltdown. I was surprised about the absence of dirty looks, which I'm accustomed to.  It was only after lunch when people kept smiling at us and greeting us nicely (even when he was talking loudly) that I realized he had the shirt on.  I'm thinking of buying seven of them! HAHAHAHAHA

We use the words "Autism", "on the Spectrum", & "Sensory Processing Disorder" often around the house and it made me wonder what Riley actually knew. I asked him "Do you have Autism, Riley?" he responds "Yes Mommy! I have Augusttism and it's awesome". That's all I could get out of him but Hubby says "Apparently he has Autism and a fear of the month of August".  I love that little dude even if he has Augusttism :)